


Post Training

by McFaye



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Jamie has to train the new mailman, M/M, barb is the best wingmom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-03-27 01:47:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13870488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McFaye/pseuds/McFaye





	1. Chapter 1

Ever since Jamie started out at the Beach City Post Office he was always in the second rank, mainly because there were only two mail carriers. Barb had been there much longer than him, and he had gotten in because the elderly mailman before him had keeled over. He accepted his job gracefully, learning the ins and outs of trudging around town and giving people mail. Of course there was more to it, organizing the mailroom, passport photos, and various other services only he and Barb were there to provide. It was a little overwhelming at times, Jamie had learned he was bad at taking people’s pictures, a majority of them having the subjects halfway blinking. 

“Hey Jamie!” Barb had slapped him on the back, raucously greeting him, ignoring he was in the middle of taking someone’s picture. He looked down to the screen to see a skin colored blur in front of the grey background. 

“Sorry about that sir, we’re gonna need another take.” The man frowned at Jamie.

“We’ve already done about twenty takes. I have to be in Puerto Vallarta by Thursday.” Jamie mumbled a snarky remark under his breath.

“So, so sorry sir.” He said through gritted teeth. He deleted the recent picture from the camera roll and straightened his posture, aiming the camera again.

“There. That’ll be just a few or more minutes.” Jamie rushed behind the counter to print the man’s picture. Barb followed him and leaned against the counter. 

“Hey, Jamie. We gotta talk.” Jamie nodded as he fussed around, setting up the man’s passport whilst trying to pay attention to Barb.

“Yes, yes hold on-”

“When is my picture going to be done?” Jamie seethed.

“Good god man, it’s done when it’s done!” 

Jamie breathed heavily after telling the man off. He looked back up to Barb’s concerned face. Unlike the normal face she gave when he’d accidentally mess something up, her face was sympathetic and understanding. She waved off the man and instructed for him to sit in the chair and wait, sighing and turning back to Jamie.

“This is what I wanted to talk about.” Jamie immediately jumped to his own defense.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at him uh-” He could see the man’s impatient face behind her. She shook her head.

“No, the yelling was justified. I mean, there are pretty much only two employees here; you and me. The services a post office is supposed to provide for the public are a bit much for just the two of us to handle. I think it’s time to get another employee or two.” Jamie’s eyes widened, both in the joy of less of a workload and the added stress of having to get to know possibly multiple new people.

“Now, I know the interviewing process would just be another headache, but I’ll cover your shifts while you’re doing it. Just think, when this is over we’ll be able to delegate different jobs and it’ll take a lot of the stress off. I mean, you did just yell at that guy over there.” 

Jamie looked down at the finished passport. He almost didn’t want to give it to the man, he didn’t deserve it. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, reminding himself he had a federal duty to give it to him. He forced a smile and walked out from around the counter, handing it to the man, who nearly had to yank it from his hand. The man muttered a backhanded ‘thank you’ and Jamie nodded, making his way to the back room, determined to shove candy from the vending machine in his face.

He shoved a couple coins into the slot and almost slapped the button for his favorite candy. Jamie had a tendency to stress-eat candy when he was angry. He looked over to the little plaque on the wall, reading ‘We shall never deny a guest, even the most ridiculous request’.

He squinted and rolled his eyes. It was funny when he first saw it, but now it just reminded him of the people who came in demanding the world from just two people who were already working on something. Not even Spongebob references would cheer him up. At least soon enough he’d be able to have a little less responsibility. The fact that his legs ached every time he got back to his apartment when he was only 20 was definitely something he should be worried about. On top of that, he would also have to spend so much of his time listening to people ask him for everything at once.  
\--

Jamie had never thought of himself as someone who would have to interview new employees, he hadn’t even thought there would be any more employees working with him. He was already pretty awkward, so asking formal questions and pretending to be someone with jurisdiction was going to be a challenge. He had mostly expected elderly people to apply, but Beach City had many more colorful characters.

“Steven, you want a job at the post office?” He nodded with a smile.

“Well, we appreciate your enthusiasm, but maybe when you’re older?” It nearly broke Jamie’s heart to have to do that.  
\--

“Okay, for the section on why you wanted the job, you put, so you can get your Koala Princess merchandise on time?” Jamie folded his hands as he looked across at Ronaldo.

“You do realize I’m not withholding your packages right? The records show the products you ordered came from Japan. Japan is, very far away from here.” 

“I happen to know that Japan is superb at their shipping speeds to all corners of the earth.”

“Corners?” Jamie knew that as soon as Ronaldo opened his mouth he would regret asking.  
\--

Jamie dropped his head off his palm onto the break room table, efficiently dumbed down by the interviewees he had gone through so far. He listened to the faint hum of the mini fridge as he stared down at the table. He breathed slowly, trying to process all the applicants thus far, none of them being adequate enough, and if they were, there was still the matter of them being insufferable. He perked up at the sound of a coffee mug slamming down onto the table as Barb sat down across from him.

“Hey kiddo, how’s the search going?” Jamie groaned.

“Between Ronaldo’s flat earth lectures and applicants with absolutely no experience I’d say it’s going just peachy.” 

“I don’t understand why we aren’t attracting the right applicants. I know there are some unemployed people in Beach City who would be fine workers here. What’s wrong with here? Our vending machine is always stocked full, we have a comfy chair over there, hell, we get cool hats!” Jamie chuckled.

“You’re right, the hats are pretty enticing.” He raised his hand to his head to grab his hat, only holding onto hair, he looked over to the chair, where he left the hat.

“It’s a little bit itchy, to be honest.” 

Barb shook her head. She took the list of names out of her pocket. Only a few people could technically be hired, but they were all, for lack of a better term, annoying. Jamie did look pretty drained from just having one conversation with Ronaldo, who provided he could shut up once in a while, would have worked, but she couldn’t put him, or herself, through that.

“Well I’m sure there will be more applicants eventually. Frankly I think it’s more important we just get somebody who can do their job without ticking people off or anything.” She leaned across the table to pat Jamie on the shoulder.

“Chin up, buddy. We’ll find somebody.” She raised up from her chair and walked towards the mailroom to set down her mail bag.   
\--

For the next few days they continued to come up dry. Anyone who did apply just wouldn’t work. It was an awful dilemma, most everyone was a chump, but they needed a chump to take some of the weight off their shoulders. Jamie would have been fine just delivering mail on a route every day as usual, his achey-brakey legs were a small price to pay for a salary. He got free exercise everyday, and there was a house on his route with a lady who always gave him homemade cookies. It wasn’t all bad.

Yet, falling onto his couch at the end of the day with hurty legs was already enough. But on top of that, he had various other jobs he was responsible for when he could finally give his legs a break. Between taking passport photos with shaky hands and running around the mailroom attempting organization it was a lot to deal with. Sure Barb was there too, but though there were definitely not a lot of people in Beach City it seemed like hundreds of people filtered in and out. It was a lot to be on top of.

Jamie hadn’t really expected to get any more applicants who would be worthwhile, he thought he’d just have to work harder. He could do this, he could try. He got up from behind the counter to walk back to the mailroom to fetch his bag, nearly sinking to the ground as he did so, still pained by his route from yesterday. Maybe he couldn’t do this. Suddenly he was interrupted by the chime of the front door opening. Good god, another person who would demand the world.

He was slightly taller than Jamie with dark hair, holding an application form in his hand. Jamie’s lack of better judgement went out the window, practically deciding on hiring this guy right away, whatever got him to be able to sit down more. Now he was going to have to put on his cheery welcome-to-the-mail-family attitude. 

“Hello! I see you have an application. Are you here for an interview?” 

“Uh yeah, I’m Kevin.” Jamie nodded.

“Yes, come to the back room, please.” Jamie struggled on his feet, making an effort to appear like his legs were doing fine. He opened the door to the break room and gestured inside, then gesturing for Kevin to sit down.

“Alright, so why do you want this job?” Kevin looked up at the ceiling, deep in thought.

“I need a job. I need a part for my car and it’s super expensive, even for me, so I need money.” 

Even for him? He had only just started talking and already dropped the fact that he was loaded. Barb had told Jamie to look for people who stood out, people who said they were looking to work here for important reasons. However, nobody had said they applied just because they needed money, so he did technically stand out. They probably wouldn’t get anymore applicants, so he would have to take this guy whether he ended up being qualified or not.

“Okay, great.” 

He looked over the sheet Kevin handed him, which garnered basic responses for all the questions in semi-messy handwriting. Kevin Park Jones, 6 feet tall, 19 years old. There wasn’t anything on the sheet that would give reason for him not to be hired, but there wasn’t anything that exactly made him a shining star.

“Looks like everything checks out, Kevin. When can you start?”   
\--

Barb was absolutely relieved when she heard that Jamie had hired someone. He thought she would have wanted him to talk to her about it first, but she seemed to be just as ecstatic about a helping hand. They were doing their best on their own, mailing and delivering things all by themselves, they had formed a lifelong friendship, and now there would be another one. Barb was even trying to order new snacks for the vending machine.

“Do we really need new snacks? I think he’ll be fine if he’s supposed to be working most of the time.” 

“No, this place hasn’t changed ever since that one guy who used to have your job kicked the bucket. Speaking of which, pass me the cleaning stuff, we need this place absolutely spotless.”

 

“I wouldn’t think he’ll be too concerned about a single crumb on the floor. I think we’re relatively neat people.” Barb turned her head and narrowed her eyes.

“I guess, but now that we’re gonna have another little scamp around here, promise you’ll get better at not spilling packages, eh?” Barb jammed her elbow into Jamie’s side.

“What did you do, Jamie?” Kevin was not someone to wait for someone to escort him to the break room if he already knew where it was, or someone to introduce him if they already were aware of him. Jamie knew it was coming, Barb was going to tell the story.

“Oh my god, so one day we get this huge package and the quality of the box is lousy, if you picked it up it was absolutely gonna rip. So Jamie goes to take it to the mailroom and the box tears in half, and what falls out but a bunch of vib-”

“Okayyyyy Barb, I’m sure Kevin doesn’t care about that story, he just wants the tour!”

“Oh no, go on. What did fall out of the box?” Kevin was now wearing the biggest smirk on his face. Jamie turned bright red and waved off his request.

“Okay, so I’m sure you already know, but this is the break room! This is where we’ll have lunch and snacks and such, or just chill out. Uh, come with me, I’ll show you how the mailroom works!” 

There weren’t very many rooms in the post office, since a good portion of their time was spent walking around town and delivering people’s mail. As Jamie led him away, he turned to look at Barb, and he wasn’t surprised to see she had the knowing Mom Look in her eyes. He hoped she could count on her discretion. Though it was a little hopeless, she already tried to tell the story of Jamie’s most embarrassing moment. It wasn’t his fault the...items… were packaged so hastily. 

The mailroom was huge, piles and shelves of letters and packages with labels of addresses and such. Jamie pointed out the organization of the letters and the correlation to which part of town they had to be delivered to. He showed him the dead letter bin and the poster on the wall detailing the rules of federal mail deliverance. He could tell Kevin was getting a little bored, and he decided to make it a little more interesting.

“Okay! Let’s get you your uniform, what size are you?” When Kevin gave him his size he rushed back to the closet where they kept the spare uniforms, trying to decide which was closest to his size. He found one that would be a little small on him but would still serve its purpose. Upon turning around, he realized Barb was there and chatting with him.

“So his face is bright red, like really, really red. He looks at the ground around him and they’re all over the floor. He’s stammering like ‘Uh, uh, these aren’t mine!’ Then he covers his face with his hands and he’s just muttering apology after apology. Then one of them rolls over and touches his shoe and I swear he shrieked so loud!”

Jamie blushed at realizing Kevin was hearing the rest of the story. He was absolutely not proud of that story, but he felt his shriek was justified, he didn’t know where they had been. He began to approach, carrying Kevin’s new uniform in his arms, trying to get there before Barb spun any worse stories. Kevin was laughing though, and he did look really nice when he laughed. Maybe he deserved to hear the story.

“Pff, did he keep one?” 

“Eh, I wouldn’t know, sure you’ll find out though later, right?”

“Wait, wha-” Maybe it was time to intervene.

“Okay Kevin, I’ve got your uniform for you! You can change in the bathroom, and then we can leave for my route. Besides, Barb, you’d scream too if you didn’t know if it was clean or not. Here.” He deposited the pile of clothes into Kevin’s arms. He pointed him towards the bathroom and waited for him to close the door behind him before speaking to Barb.

“You’ve got your eye on him, huh?” Jamie grimaced.

“N, no.”

“A mother always knows.” Jamie sighed. Barb was like his second mom, one time she even grounded him when he lost the shipment of stamps, and he didn’t get anything from the vending machine until he was ungrounded. She also considered Jamie to be the son she never had, one time she had even introduced him to Sadie as her older brother. 

“Fine, it’s a possibility. But I’d prefer if you hadn’t made that last joke to him. He just got here and you’re already telling him...unpleasant stories of my beginning of this job and making suggestive hints about me.”

“I’m just being a good wingmom! I’m trying to help you get him.” Jamie chuckled.

“Maybe wait for a few days before doing that?” Barb was going to say something about ‘letting him know his intentions’ when the bathroom door opened. Like Jamie predicted, the uniform was a little tight on him. Barb leaned in and nudged him in the arm.

 

“Close your mouth, you’re gonna catch flies.” She leaned back to where she was.

“Lookin’ sharp kid! It suits ya! Jamie thinks so too.” Jamie kicked his calf behind him aiming for Barb’s leg, and missed. Jamie decided to change the subject.

“Ooh, and the little envelopes on the shoulders are pockets!” Kevin looked down at his shoulders and pulled open the velcro top of the little letter.

“It’s pretty small, what would I put in here?” Jamie tapped his chin with his finger.

“Uhh, small change. Ummmm, cool rocks that you find! My route is kinda along the beach so I find a lot of cool rocks.” Kevin snickered. He was such an enthusiastic person, just watching him gush over small pockets was pretty adorable. Not to mention how flustered he got when Barb told Kevin the infamous story of the box. Jamie walked over to where the mail bags were hung and picked his up.

“Better lock that one down while you’ve got the chance, huh?” 

When noticing Barb leaning in to whisper to Kevin, he knew it was going to be something about dating him. He sighed happily. He would be mad at Barb for all the teasing, but Kevin sure as hell didn’t seem to be uncomfortable about the concept.


	2. Chapter 2

(a.k.a- Faye’s Kevin and Jamie headcanons extravaganza)

Jamie walked Kevin over to the front door of the post office, adjusting his hat as the wind blew in. Now that Kevin would be working there he would have to shadow Jamie on his route. Kevin wasn’t a walk person, he thought it was boring and it took too long to get anywhere. He couldn’t understand why Jamie actually enjoyed the walks he had to take. He had certainly gotten an earful of how his legs always hurt after his route, and after all, Kevin was hired because both he and Barb were tired. Yet, the way he hummed as he walked and conversed with Kevin as chipper as he was at the post office.

“Wait, shouldn’t we go to this street later, we just skipped the last one. Don’t they have mail?” Jamie nodded.

“Yeah, but the lady who lives at the house over there always has fresh homemade cookies on the porch right now and if we’re late they’ll get cold.” Jamie led him over to the house and walked up the porch to the mailbox on the side of the front of the house.

Jamie had instructed Kevin to just take one cookie for each of them as he rifled through his bag and took the letters to be mailed from the box, but as his back was turned Kevin took all of them and put the excess in the hat he had been given. He hid it from Jamie as he turned back around and headed towards the house next door.

“Why are you holding your hat, it’s not even windy anymore.” Kevin reached into the hat, grabbing a handful of cookies and handing them to Jamie.

“For crying out loud Kevin, did you take all of them? What are you going to do with like fifteen cookies?” Kevin shoved one into his mouth.

“Eaf ‘em.” Jamie laughed him off as he took the cookies Kevin was holding out for him. 

Kevin didn’t understand the leisure of walks, but as he watched Jamie hum with every step and tell Kevin little details about the houses and the people in them. He watched Jamie pick up weird looking rocks and shells. He was so cheery and dramatic. His legs ached with every step and he greeted it with a smile. Kevin had reasoned he’d been doing this so long he’d become numb to it. Jamie gestured for him to come up to a large house with the mailbox on the side of the house again. Jamie preferred mailboxes on the side of the road to having to walk up the steps on the porch. The door was opened by a woman surrounded by a plethora of dogs, clamoring around and barking.

“What do we have today?” Jamie fished into his bag for a few letters, not noticing Kevin back up slightly.

“Oh, just looks like bills. Here you go miss.” She took the envelopes from his hand. Jamie motioned for him to go up to the mailbox and check for anything that had to be delivered. Kevin uneasily moved to grab the letters and as he went back to where he was standing, one of the dogs came outside and pawed at his leg.

“Ahah, hiii.” Kevin tried to back up.

“Oh go on, she’s nice, pet her.” Kevin swallowed hard and leaned a shaky hand down to pet her head. 

 

“Okay Kevin, let’s get a move on. Bye miss!” Kevin followed him briskly away from the woman’s house.

“Alright, now it’s off to Greenland Dri-” He was caught off guard by a very violent sounding sneeze and a forceful sniffle. He looked back to see Kevin’s face entirely red, making futile attempts to scratch his puffy eyes.

“Oh my god, Kevin, are you okay?” Kevin tried to nod and was overcome by another sneeze attack.

“Y-no, I’m allergic to dogs.” His voice sounded congested as he tried to calm down.

“Okay, how about we take a break, come on.” Every time Kevin tried to take a deep breath he was cut off by a brutal sneeze. Jamie felt so bad for him, he had only gotten allergies from pollen once and it definitely wasn’t this bad.

“Ugh, are you gonna die?” Instead of answering the question he sneezed on Jamie’s shirt.

“Ohhhh….” Jamie inhaled sharply.

“I-I’m so sorry I-” Kevin sneezed again. “Fucking dogs.”

“It’s okay, I have a shirt under this.” Jamie took off his uniform shirt and balled it up, stuffing it into his mail bag. Slowly but surely, the sneezes were more far apart, and he was just reduced to itchy eyes and sniffles.

“Alright, how about a lunch break? We can go get some pizza, and you can, stop rubbing your eyes. It looks like you’re trying to force them to the back of your skull.”

“It’s the best I can do. Yeah, pizza. Let’s get pizza.” When he pulled his hands away to look at Jamie he could see there were tears in the corner of his eyes. Though they were from allergies it broke his heart.

“You’ve um, got something on your face.” Kevin took a hand away from his eye and wiped away some drool from his chin, ignoring the tears. He’d hoped if he didn’t draw attention by drying them Jamie wouldn’t notice.

 

He would love dogs, they were pretty lovable. Yet, the fluffiness of their hair was just itchiness and sneezes to him. He hated being around them on account of the reactions he had. He had barely known this guy he kind of liked and he had already seen him puffy-eyed with drool running down his face. Hell, he sneezed all over his shirt and he just shrugged it off, putting it into his bag. He was just so nice. The only people who had seen him have an allergic reaction before were his birth mother, the guy who owned the dog, and everyone else on the playground. Though he was only eleven at that time that was still his most embarrassing moment to date.

Instead of continuing to deliver mail to the rest of the houses on the block, which if they did, would take fifteen minutes and they’d be done with the route, Jamie took Kevin far out of his way to Fish Stew Pizza. Of course he would end up coming back to the post office about an hour later than usual, and Barb would drag him over the coals for leaving her alone to deal with any people who needed to mail things. There were many more people who needed to mail many more things than one would think.

As soon as Jenny saw the black tuft of Kevin’s hair enter the front door she began to seethe, which then turned to plain malcontent when she saw him rubbing his red eyes accompanied by Jamie. She looked back towards the table she was tending to. Kevin kept his gaze fixated on the floor. It was bad enough Jamie had seen him with his nose running and drool on his face as he sneezed repeatedly, and he didn’t need the people in the restaurant to see him like that. 

“Hi Kiki. Can we have a cheese pizza please?” Kiki ran her eyes over Kevin and the state he was in.

“Is he alright?” Jamie nodded, letting Kevin pull himself together. Kiki took their order and Kevin’s eyes became less puffy and he managed to be able to pull his hands away, only itching them once or twice every minute. Kevin followed Jamie as he walked towards a nearby table.

Once it stopped being painful for Kevin to see he took a look around where he was, surveying the restaurant through blurry vision. Looking into Kevin’s watery eyes was a little sad. He had to remind himself that he looked like he had been crying due to allergies. Jamie could admit that he cried often, he had no shame about that, but he never knew what to do when other people were crying. 

“So, do you feel any better now?” Kevin shrugged.

“Well I’m not dead yet so I guess I’m fine. Sorry for being a complete mess and...getting snot all over your shirt.” 

“It’s okay, I don’t mind it. I’m sorry that the lady made you pet her dog. If I’d known that you were allergic to dogs I would’ve just let you stand back.” Kevin laughed.

“My face is all red.” 

“It is pretty red. You look like you’re really embarrassed.”

“I am really embarrassed. You just saw me with about, three different liquids coming out of my face: snot, tears, and drool. That’s not how I want people to see me.” 

“If it makes you feel better I think you still look as lovely as ever.”

“Lovely? I don’t look lovely.” Jamie scratched the back of his neck. He hadn’t meant to call him lovely, at least out loud, but seeing the way Kevin smiled when he called him lovely made his heart soar. In all the time since Kevin had applied for the job he had not smiled like that. It was probably the purest thing Jamie had ever seen.

After eating, Jamie was quick to leave, emphasizing that they still had a plethora of mail to deliver. Kevin made sure to keep a distance away from the houses while Jamie delivered the mail. He decided to put the mail in the boxes as quickly as possible so as not to delay the process any further. He knew that as soon as he got through the front door of the post office with a resigned sigh Barb would have his ass on a plate.

“I’m sorry Barb, I know I’m late.” Barb looked up from the paperwork she was looking over to see Kevin and Jamie walking in. 

“There you are! What took you kids so long, you were supposed to be here about an hour ago, both of my feet have fallen asleep.” Jamie began spouting apologies. Kevin watched him mutter excuses left and right. Barb waved him off.

“Alright, alright, quit your blubbering. You’re forgiven, but now it’s your shift at the counter.” She pushed herself up from the chair for Jamie to sit down. Jamie breathed a sigh of relief and slumped into the chair, pulling himself closer to the desk, looking down at everything he’d have to do.

“Kevin can just, uhh, sit next to ya.” She headed for the break room, sneaking a look back to make sure they were getting right to their work. She then backed up, looking back to Jamie.

“Hey what happened to your shirt?”

“It was pretty warm, I uh, put it in my mail bag.” Barb nodded and walked back into the break room.

Kevin looked down at the desk, covered in forms and documents for god knows what. Yet somehow able to go right to them knowing exactly how to fill them out. Even if he ended up working here longer than Jamie would he couldn’t see himself ever understanding what any of those papers said. He took the seat messily placed next to Jamie’s, courtesy of Barb. 

“Why were you so quick for excuses for her? What exactly would she do to you, ground you?”

“Not again.” Kevin’s joking expression changed to one of confusion as he comprehended what Jamie was telling him.

“Did. Did she actually ground you?” Jamie chuckled a little, putting aside a finished form and picking up another one.

“Informally, I guess. We got a shipment of stamps once and I lost them, she grounded me for a week. My punishment was nothing from the vending machine for the whole seven days.” Kevin blinked a few times.

“Geez, I didn’t think mothers could ground their children at work. Is that allowed?” Jamie scoffed in surprise at what Kevin had gathered from what he said.

“Wh-she’s not my mom, she’s just very mom-like. She doesn’t even look like me.” Kevin shrugged.

“My mom doesn’t look like me. Besides, if she’s not your real mom why did you comply with being grounded?”

“I’ll have you know that regardless of if Barb was or wasn’t my mother, if I talked back she’d decimate me. One time Vidalia said she didn’t like her new haircut and she held all her mail for a whole two weeks.” 

“Heh. Mama’s boy.” Kevin felt a faint joking punch to his arm with that last remark.

Jamie pushed his hair back and looked down at the finally finished paperwork, relieved he didn’t have anything else he had to do for the rest of the night. He organized the papers in the mini shelves and cracked his knuckles. He looked over to see Kevin balancing the post office brand pen on his top lip, which then fell off into his hands and then to the floor. He looked back to Jamie, defeated.

“Tsk tsk. My record is 45 seconds.” Kevin frowned and bent down to pick the pen up. Jamie was just so funny, whether he was trying to be or not. He was funny when scolding Kevin for taking all the cookies, funny when he was complying with Barb grounding him, funny when he revealed he had memorized his record for balancing pens on his lip. He didn’t know if funny was the best word. It was funny in a way, funny that he thought he was funny though that wasn’t quite it. A better word might have been…

“Adorable.” Jamie turned back to Kevin after hearing him mutter, trying to understand what he had said and why. Kevin rushed to his defense, picking up a little desk toy in front of him.

“This uh, little bird here. Adorable.” Jamie nodded, raising his arms above his head to stretch, Kevin putting the pen on his top lip again, determined to beat Jamie’s record.


	3. Chapter 3

Barb had told Jamie that the point of employing a new staff member at the post office to take off some of the workload, and yet it was solely his job to train Kevin and make sure he understood anything. He attempted to ask Barb if she would try to teach Kevin how to do the paperwork or man the counter but she was always busy. Every time Jamie thought he was done helping Kevin with something there was something else he had to explain. It was a little tiring, he needed to be able to do some things on his own, but it was certainly taking a while.

“Okay, so I take care of downtown, Barb takes care of uptown, and you can take care of the outskirts of town, over here.” Jamie circled numerous spots on a Beach City map with a marker.

“Okay, so I have to deliver mail to my own house?” Jamie looked up at him, putting the cap back on the marker.

“What’s going to happen, the world won’t end. Besides, that just means you know your route better.” Jamie put the marker into a cup of various writing utensils and pointed to Kevin’s section of town on the map. 

“So you can start your route tomorrow. Barb says that today I have to teach you how to organize addresses on everything.”

Jamie spun around on his heel, turning towards the shelves of mail behind them. Letters and packages placed in different sections. He took Kevin’s arm and led him over. Kevin peered up at the tall shelves, groups of letters tied together on top of piles of packages stacked skillfully, as if it was a game of Tetris. 

“Okay, could you grab those letters off of the table there?” Kevin turned around and walked back to the table, picking up a stack of envelopes.

“Got them.” Jamie took the stack from him and flipped through them.

“Okay, these are all addressed to different places on Woodland Avenue, so that would mean they go overrrr… here!” Jamie pointed to the other side of the room, and walked over with Kevin in tow. He took the letters back from Jamie, looking over each one carefully.

“Hmmmm, are these arranged by like the closeness of the houses to the post office?” He continued flipping through them. “Do the different stamps matter?” 

“Alright Kevin, don’t overthink it now. Barb always says K.I.S.S.,’Keep it simple, stupid’. Great advice, hurts my feelings every time. Now then..” Jamie went over the labels written on pieces of tape on the partitions between shelves, telling Kevin how each box was arranged in terms of address.

Kevin drifted in and out as Jamie explained, instead of looking where he pointed, he was fixated on his face. His bright eyes, his smile, he couldn’t help it. He seemed so passionate about his job, and he had no idea how. The post office was boring, Barb was often blunt and apparently had grounded him at one point, and yet he was still such a cheery person. He couldn’t understand it.

“..and that’s pretty much the gist of it. The organization is fairly simple so I’m sure you’ll be able to get it.” Kevin snapped back to reality, looking at Jamie’s face expecting a response.

“What? Yeah, yeah, just put it in the thing.” Jamie’s eyes narrowed.

“Tell me what I just explained to you.” Kevin stammered, trying to remember the words he’d picked up from him. Jamie sighed.

“Alright, I’ll explain again. It goes like this,..” Kevin already felt bad about not listening to Jamie the first time, but he was too busy admiring him again. It was weird what he felt when he did look at him. When he watched his lips move he could taste honey, when he looked back at him he could see sunlight in his eyes.

“Ohhhh, right I got it.” Jamie shook his head with a quiet laugh. He knew Kevin wasn’t paying attention, but he knew no matter how many times he tried to explain it he wasn’t going to listen. He was happy to have Kevin working there with him, he was fun to hang out with, but he didn’t seem very interested in the work.

“You don’t got it. For the umpteenth time, it’s arranged by order of address number, okay?” Kevin nodded, finally comprehending what Jamie told him.

Jamie had of course noticed Kevin staring at him, but he was unfortunately a little oblivious. He assumed he looked at him because he had something on his face. Kevin would stare at his lips when he talked, and when he was done speaking he’d turn away and check in any reflective surface if he had something in his teeth. 

In Kevin’s defense, he did try to listen to Jamie at first. Then of course, he realized how pretty Jamie’s eyes were and it just kind of derailed from there. He couldn’t help it, mail organization was boring and Jamie was probably the most interesting person he’d ever met. Jamie was so captivating that there was no way for him to just listen to mundane mail junk. Sure it was something he needed to know for his job, but he just couldn’t focus. Having Jamie train him was completely unfair.

“Okay, I have to leave for my route in a few minutes, and I’m going to leave you in charge of the counter today. I’ve taught you everything you need to know.” Jamie walked over to where his mail bag was set and slung it over his shoulder. Kevin felt upset that he was just leaving him there, he had spent practically every moment of the training just staring at Jamie.

“Are you sure I know everything? Like the paperwork and stuff-”

“It’s all really simple stuff Kevin, as long as you can read. You can read right?”

“Yes, Jamie, I can read. I just, there’s a lot of different forms and I don’t know what they’re all for.” Jamie smiled and shook his head. Kevin was a great person, but it seemed everything went in one ear and out the other. It would upset him, but his expression when he stared at him through every explanation was pretty cute. He set his hand on Kevin’s shoulder.

“You’ll do fine, Kev. In all honesty, I don’t know what 90% of those forms are for either, I just kinda take one out of the shelve thing and hope it works.” 

“Kev?” Jamie stopped, realizing he had given Kevin a nickname.

“Yeah, it’s like, a shortened version of your name. I thought it was like, a thing friends do. Nicknames.” Kevin smiled. He could do nicknames, Jamie considered them friends. 

“It is a thing friends do, Jam.” Jamie grinned back at him and then walked towards the door to go for his route.  
\--

“I got this. Yeah, I got this.” Kevin sat at the counter, looking over at the door, waiting for someone to come by. Jamie had assured him that there was barely any business there, there wasn’t much that happened at the post office. 

Kevin tapped on the counter, getting more and more bored as time went on. He had been so worried about being unprepared for manning the desk he didn’t have time to worry about not having to do anything. Suddenly, the front door chimed as it swung open.

“Hey Jamie, I have to mail this back, it gave Pearl a splinter-” Steven stopped in his tracks, holding a box in his arms. He was prepared to never see Kevin again and was happy with that fact, but now he was just sitting in Jamie’s spot, wearing his clothes.

“Oh criminy, no.”

Kevin looked in front of him, confused that he didn’t see anyone. Then he looked down and realized it was the kid again. After getting humiliated by falling into his own pool while yelling at him at his party he didn’t seem any more excited than Steven was to see him. He sighed, remembering he had to be professional.

“Hello welcome to the post office, how may I help you?” Steven blinked in disbelief, refusing to comprehend that Kevin was working there now.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” 

“I work he-”

“How can you- that’s Jamie’s spot! And why are you wearing his clothes?” Kevin’s face heated up at the thought of wearing Jamie’s clothes.

“Steven do you know what a uniform is?” He stared up at him, still suspicious. Kevin always seemed to have an ulterior motive, and seeing him do something as mediocre as having a job felt wrong.

“Anyways, I have to mail this back.” Kevin took the box from him and looked at the address written on it, trying desperately to remember where in the mailroom it was supposed to go.

“Right. Be right back then.” Kevin got up from his seat and headed back to the mailroom, bringing it over to the shelf corresponding with the address. He mentally prepared himself before going back to the counter and sitting down again.

“Anything else…” He clenched his fists and nearly threw up in his mouth as he uttered the next word.

“..Sir?” 

Steven shook his head and began to turn around to leave, but then walked back up to the counter.

“Yes, what is i-oh.” Kevin cut himself off as Steven grabbed a piece of candy out of the jar, then left the post office.

Kevin groaned and rubbed his neck. He hoped the rest of his customers would give him a less awkward exchange than that. After a few seconds of inner turmoil he grabbed a handful of the candy and shoved it in his mouth, like an animal.

“Hey kid!” Barb had just gotten back from her route to see Kevin cramming candy in his mouth gracelessly. She shook her head at him.

“Tsk tsk, I remember when I’d walk in on Jamie shoveling candy in his mouth. You know that’s just for customers, right? If you want candy go to the vending machine.” Barb set her bag down on the counter and threw her arms above her head in a stretch.

“Sorry Barb.” She walked over behind the counter and looked over at the empty desk.

“Not much business, huh? It’ll pick up sometime soon.” Kevin nodded and went back to staring at the door. The job he had picked to get money to fix his car was far more boring than he had thought it would be. 

“So, when does Jamie get back?” Kevin had never paid attention to the schedule when he was accompanying Jamie on his routes because he was already with him. Now that he was gone, his route seemed like an eternity.

“He’s probably made it about halfway down the boardwalk by now. Why, you miss him?” Kevin’s face turned red as he stared down at the counter.

“N-no, it’s just boring here without him. He always lights up the room, he’s so sweet and funny, you know.” 

Barb stopped in her tracks, looking down at Kevin. When she realized Jamie had a crush on Kevin, she did her very best to get him to realize all the qualities about Jamie that he had just mentioned. All of his enlightening traits weren’t hard to notice, but it had seemed Kevin had taken them to heart. She could barely believe that he missed him so much after only a little over an hour. 

“So, you miss him.” Barb smiled deviously, causing Kevin to become a deer in headlights.

“Maybe a little bit. Don’t tell him that, though. He’d have a field day with that information.” Barb smiled to herself. She had good intentions, yes, but she was not very good at keeping secrets.

“Pshh, I won’t tell him.” She crossed her fingers behind her back. The obvious mutual pining between the two was the sweetest thing she’d ever seen, and she would be damned if she didn’t get them together. She fished some money out of her pocket and headed for the break room.

“So, what do you miss about him specifically?” Barb was making mental notes, ready to tell Jamie how much Kevin liked him.

“Well, he’s so smart, and kind, and just, really pretty…” Kevin’s voice wavered and faded out as he drew on, and he stared down at the desk to avoid having to make eye contact. Barb smiled as she ran a hand through her hair. Kevin was deep in it.

“Oh, by the way. When Jamie gets back, ask him about his theatrical poster shoot. Trust me.” Kevin raised an eyebrow as he tried to figure out what Barb was getting at.

To him, Barb was an enigma. She was always talking weird, implying things that he couldn’t figure out. She was the literal definition of a mom, or at least a good mom. Everytime Jamie was around she always whispered to him and elbowed him in the side and his face would heat up. He didn’t get what she was trying to do.

When Jamie got back, Kevin’s spirits immediately lifted. As soon as he came through the door he started to complain about his legs aching. It sucked that he was always hurting after his routes, and though it was business as usual, Kevin couldn’t help but be a little concerned. Jamie slumped down into one of the chairs and took his mail bag off of his shoulder.

“Welcome back! You alright?” Barb had picked up over time that Kevin didn’t smile too often. Not that he was never happy, he just didn’t show it too much. Yet now his face lit up and he seemed so glad to see Jamie back. It was sweet, how happy he was to see Jamie again. He was like a puppy when the human left the house for the grocery store.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m gonna need to buy some better shoes, more comfortable. Okay Kevin, I think it’s time for your route.” Kevin nodded, getting up from his seat and went over to where his mail bag was hanging and picked it up. He hadn’t gone on a route by himself before. 

“Alright, I’m ready to go. Do I need to do anything else before I leave?” 

“Nope, have fun kid!” Kevin waved them goodbye and opened the door and walked out onto the steps of the post office, looking out at the town before him. He wasn’t much of a walk person, but he would have to get used to it. 

Beach City was different when he was delivering mail. He observed the city as he headed out to the part of town he was responsible for. It was nice, the fresh air, but he would have preferred to just drive the mail around, it would have been so much easier. He knew they had a mail van, and that Barb had used it for multiple non-mail related things, but he was sure if he brought it up to Barb she would just say that the walking was to ‘build character’ or some other type of bullshit.

The first house on his list was that of the former mayor, and he was already unlucky enough to be his next door neighbor, now he actually had to go up to his house. He put his mail in the mailbox and rang the doorbell, making sure to get away before he answered the door. He ran over to his house and dug through the bag, fishing out the mail for his parents. It wasn’t like anyone wrote to him anyway.

Kevin hadn’t been assigned very much of town, and he was thankful for that. Simply putting mail in mailboxes was relatively easy work, or so he thought. However after about fifteen minutes Kevin understood what Jamie was talking about. His legs were killing him, and it didn’t help that the houses he was responsible for had such long driveways, including his. 

He got back to the post office barely standing, his legs aching the whole way back. Once he made it through the door, he saw nobody at the counter. He was told that they needed more help at the post office and no one was even there. He hung up his bag and heard some voices coming from the mailroom. He silently inched closer to the door to listen. He wasn’t the most respecting person when it came to other people’s business. It had labelled him an eavesdropper multiple times.

“Barb!”

“Oh come on! You should have seen him earlier, he was just gushing about you!” In a matter of seconds it occurred to Kevin that they were talking about him.

“No he wasn’t.”

 

“Yes he was! He was like, ‘Jamie is so sweet and pretty! I miss him!’”

“He thinks I’m pretty?”

Kevin pressed himself up against the wall, his heart racing. He specifically remembered asking Barb not to tell him. He should’ve known better, Barb didn’t seem like someone who kept to herself, and he completely glossed over that crucial information. His ranting of what he liked about Jamie was supposed to be in confidence. Jamie was not supposed to know how much he drooled over him, he never meant for him to know about it. He thought he’d just blurt out the information and he could just forget it ever happened. He leaned his head back and tried to keep listening.

“Well I mean, every time I try to explain something to him he just kinda looks at me. I always thought it was because I had something on my face.” 

“See! I told you.” He saw Jamie scratching the back of his neck.

“B-but I couldn’t talk to him about it, I wouldn’t know what to say! I’d probably just stutter and freak out, you know I’m kind of anxious.”

“Just pretend it’s a performance, you’re good at performing. That improv group thing was fun. Oh! You should show him that poster.”

 

“Barb! That wasn’t for improv, I didn’t even end up doing it anyway!”

“I’m sure if you put it on again he would definitely want to be an audience volunteer. Eh?” She jabbed Jamie in the side with her elbow as he covered his red face with his hands.

“Barb!”

Kevin tore himself away from the door upon Barb noticing that he was there. Jamie knowing about his crush on him was bad enough. So many questions ran through his mind as he stood there. Why did he trust Barb with that information? How did Jamie feel about his crush? Why didn’t he keep his big mouth shut? What was on the poster and why was Jamie so embarrassed about it?

When he sat back down at the counter the chair creaked, alerting Jamie to his presence. He panicked, running to the bathroom waiting for Jamie to come back out of the mailroom. He laughed quietly to himself. It was like a middle school crush, telling someone and then freaking out when they tell them, as if you expected anything else to happen. It felt childish, hiding from his stupid feelings. His stupid, lovey-dovey, annoying feelings.


	4. Chapter 4

(Kinda short but I just really wanted to finish this fic)

“Oh. My. God.” 

“What are you guys looking at?” 

After Kevin heard Barb tell Jamie all about his crush on him, she decided that she would have to make it up to him. Of course, she knew the best way to. Since he had gotten there the two bonded over one of Jamie’s most embarrassing moment, involving a box of, items. Now, they had to bond again to get Kevin’s forgiveness, and she knew just the way.

“Jamie you never told me about this. Very tasteful.” Jamie looked over Kevin’s shoulder down at a promotional poster for an event he never did. A poster he had hoped would never see the light of day again. He reached between him and Barb and snatched the poster away.

“Hey, where did you get this?!” Jamie rolled up the poster and held it close to his chest as if it would erase the image from their minds. Now being aware of how Kevin felt about him, this was the last thing he wanted him to see.

“Barb had it stashed away somewhere. I don’t know why, this is absolute gold. When was this? Why wasn’t I invited?” Jamie struggled not to rip the poster up right then and there.

“It was supposed to happen like, maybe a few weeks ago but I chickened out at the last moment. I couldn’t do it. Besides it’s not like anyone would want to see that anyway.”

“I don’t know, I would.” Kevin then froze up, remembering Jamie was aware of his crush, and what he said was probably perceived a lot pervier than he had intended. He cleared his throat and looked down at the floor, meaning he didn’t see Jamie blush.

“Well that’s very sweet of you, Kevin, but you don’t have to lie. We both know it’d be a freakshow.”

Ever since Barb had blabbed about Kevin’s crush on Jamie the two of them were still incredibly awkward and oblivious. Jamie didn’t know that Kevin overheard the conversation and was pretending like he didn’t know anything, and Kevin didn’t know that Jamie was remarkably happy to receive that news. If she had known that those two nerds weren’t going to anything with that information she would have just skipped that step and pushed their heads together. If the poster didn’t work then nothing probably would.

“Don’t be so down on yourself, I’m sure it would be really h-cool.” Jamie beamed at his compliment, completely forgetting that Kevin basically said he wanted to go to a show where he would be ‘seductively singing’. 

The time since Kevin had begun his job at the post office went by fast. Though almost every aspect of actual work (besides Jamie) was boring. He knew way too many useless facts about mail. When hanging out with friends and the conversation was lacking, sometimes he’d just throw in a stupid fact about stamps, and they’d stare at him like he was a weird bug. This job itself was stupid, he didn’t even need it anymore. Only a little while ago he earned enough money to fix his car, there was no point to being here anymore. And then Jamie walked past him, rifling through his bag and heading for the mail room. 

Maybe there was a point to still being here.  
\--

Jamie walked into the mail room and closed the door behind him. He had tons of letters and packages he had to finish organizing. There was still a handful of mail and boxes in a pile on the floor that he’d been tripping over for the past day or two, which had earned him the bandage on his leg and bruise on his arm. 

He picked up one of the bigger packages and inspected the sticker on top of it, looking over the address and then scanning the room for the shelf where it belonged. He made his way over to the shelf and lifted it up to set it down. He stretched his arms and turned back to look at the large amount of mail he had barely made a dent in. Jamie walked back over to the pile and picked up a slightly smaller package.

“Hmmm hmm.” He hummed as he absentmindedly went back and forth, barely paying attention to the address, and having to relocate to another side of the room after making a mistake.

Jamie let his mind wander, remembering how Barb had exposed that poster to him just a little while earlier. He relived his embarrassment for a little while, before his mind went to what Kevin had said. When he stated that he hadn’t gone through with the performance, Kevin had said that if he did, he would have come. He smiled, though he was a little cocky sometimes, he was awfully nice. 

He couldn’t help but think about what would have happened if he did do it. Out of all the people in the audience, he could only focus on Kevin as he sang slowly. Reaching out his hand for him to grab, pulling him up onto stage, singing to him as he stared into his eyes. Pulling him closer, wrapping an arm around his waist, their faces mere inches away from each other. Holding his chin between his finger and his thumb, leaning in until his lips were lightly brushing against his…

“Hey Jay.”

“Huh?”

Jamie was ripped from his fantasizing when Kevin walked up behind him. He swore, he was going to have to put a bell on that guy. He spun around quickly gripping the package he was holding, which he would have set down, were it not for what he had just been thinking about. As he tried to stop blushing he felt like Kevin could tell why he wouldn’t put it down.

“What are you up to?” Jamie laughed nervously until he realized he had been asked a question.

“Oh, I’m just putting away this package. And all the mail over there, too.” Kevin glanced over to the other side of the room, looking at the mound of boxes and letters on the floor. It didn’t seem very professional.

“Then are you gonna put that one away?” Kevin pointed to the box he was holding. Jamie quickly tried to think of an excuse.

“I’m, yeah I’m just. Trying to figure out where it goes.” Kevin glanced down at the address sticker on top of the box.

“It goes right behind you, here.”

He snatched the box from Jamie’s hands and lifted it up to put on the top shelf. Jamie turned awkwardly, going to grab another box from the pile and heading back over to Kevin, still holding it clumsily in front of his hips. He smiled weirdly at Kevin, trying to think of something to say to continue the question. Well, as long as he had him there, he might as well bring it up. 

“So, I know you like me, and I know you know that I know.”

“That’s a lot of ‘know’s.” 

“I kn- I’m aware. Anyways, I like you too. A lot. Barb told me how pretty you thought I was, that you think I’m funny, how you feel when I’m around, and how you get so bored when I’m gone.”

Kevin was frozen in his tracks. He knew Jamie was aware of his feelings, but hearing them being repeated back to him was making him feel all over again, whether he liked it or not. He was so pretty, so funny, and his presence affected his whole day. His effort to stop those feelings all together had been foiled. He was suddenly very aware of how radiant he was, how brown his eyes were, how his hair fell around and over his face.

“Did she now?”

“She did, and I just wanted to make sure it was true. I don’t know if Barb would lie to me, but I’m just kind of doubting it, and I need to know if she’s telling the truth.”

“Y-yeah, she is. I should have known she couldn’t keep a secret before I started ranting. Although, I guess I’m kinda happy that you know.” Jamie giggled a little, he tended to laugh slightly when he wasn’t sure what to say.

“I’m so glad. But you’re right, she isn’t the best person to tell something in confidence.” Kevin nodded in agreement.

Jamie looked back at Kevin, completely forgetting he was supposed to be putting the mail away, and that he was supposed to be continuing a conversation. His mind was drifting back to if he had gone through with that act, picking up where his brain had left off. Bringing Kevin’s face closer to his own, pressing his lips against him, pulling his waist closer to his own. Soon, Jamie had forgotten that he wasn’t just doing this in his mind, taking a step closer to him and leaning in slightly. Unfortunately, he was stopped by the box he was holding bumping up against him. He stepped back, realizing what he was about to do, and he saw Kevin pulling back too, as he was about to kiss him too.

Disregarding the possibility of the materials in the package being fragile, Jamie dropped it onto the floor, ignoring the muted crash he heard as it hit the ground. He resumed leaning back into Kevin, gently pulling his face towards his own. Finally, their lips touched and they melted into the kiss. Jamie pulled his hips closer, absentmindedly pushing them against his. The shelves next to them felt fixed for a moment or two, until they leaned a little heavier on them. Suddenly, they felt it give way, and they pulled back from the kiss, watching it slowly falling backwards towards the wall with a loud crash, flinching when it hit the wall and all the mail that Jamie had stocked there falling onto the floor. They then heard a faint voice from the other room.

“You kids better clean that up right now! I can and will take away vending machine privileges ” Jamie and Kevin stood awkwardly next to each other, staring at the wreckage.

“Are you sure she’s not your mom?”


End file.
